"If you know someone who has lost a child or anybody who's important to them, and you're afraid to mention them because you think you might make them sad by reminding them that they died, they didn't forget they died. You're not reminding them. What you're reminding them of is that you remembered that they lived, and that's a great, great gift" - Elizabeth Edwards

"The deep hurt is the mirror image of the deep joy that still awaits you." - Bruce C. Hafen

Archive for June, 2016

Our trip to Idaho!

We spent 3 fun days in Idaho visiting family last week. We went to BYU Idaho and walked around and showed the kids where we met, where we had our classes, and where we lived while in college. It’s been more than 8 years since we left Rexburg and first time we have been back since then. BYU-I campus has changed so much! The days went by too fast. Some of the things we did were, playing board games, eating lots of yummy ice cream, swimming at the Rexburg Rapids, had a barbecue at Eric’s aunts house and went to the zoo in Idaho Falls. We also squeezed in some shopping! Such a fun trip! We have missed the Hellewells so much since they moved to Idaho and us to Utah.
Nicci holding little Lucy. When we first got to Idaho Falls we went and watched one of Shanna’s softball games.

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I loved their backyard. It was so idyllic and peaceful. They had two weeping willows in the yard and I just loved to stand there and feel the wind and hear the rustling of the leaves. They also had a vegetable and flower garden. The kids loved picking strawberries.


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One of the board games we played.

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In this pic we are outside our first apartment after we got married. It was at Cougar court and it was so fun to be there again. Here we celebrated our first Halloween, Thanksgiving and Christmas together as a married couple. I suffered a miscarriage and also got pregnant with Nicci while we lived here.

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Then we went to Hyde park, which was our favorite apartment. We had Nicci while we lived in this apartment. My friend Megan and her husband Daniel just lived a few apartments down and we got to know so many nice people here.

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We lived on the second floor.

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Then we drove by the temple. It was being built while we were there. I still remember watching from campus when they put Moroni on. We left like 2 weeks before the open house and dedication if I remember correctly.

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Remember these fields so well….

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Then we parked and walked around campus.

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Eric outside the Austin building where he spent a lot of time.

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We went to the gardens and the kids saw a bride and a groom taking pictures.

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I remember often walking around in the gardens and dreaming about the future. The gardens were so close especially when I lived in the dorms. Eric and I also took our engagement pics in the gardens.

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This is a pic of Chapman hall which was my dorm that I lived in my first semester. So many fun memories. I met so many wonderful people here.

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Beautiful campus….the Taylor building.

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This is the Manwaring center which is the building Eric and I met in for the first time.

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This is the ballroom where we met for the first time during latin dancing one Friday night at the end of October of 2005. Fun times!

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Then we walked around and were so surprised how much the the Manwaring center has changed. The school cafeteria “The Galley” that I worked in no longer exists. The new food court looks so nice!

It was fun to see the Clarke building again. I spent so much time here studying Preschool ed.

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The new BYU-Idaho center is so big!!

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After campus we drove by Melalecua where Eric worked for a while. I remember his shift was 4pm-10pm and I would drive to pick him up there at 10pm at night and then we would eat a late dinner when we came home.

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Both Nicci and Eric were born at Madison Memorial Hospital in Rexburg. Fun, fun!

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We drove by Porter park where we spent lots of time. We used to play tennis here in the summer.

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We stopped by Green brier where Eric and I lived before we got married. I remember how nice it was to live so close to each other just across the courtyard. I could see his apartment from mine. He could walk me to my apartment every night and say good night. We both loved the room mates we had here.

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After exploring campus we went to the Smith park to have lunch and then we went to Rexburg Rapids water park. It was very windy and in the 70s, so not really warm and Tyler thought it was a little cold but the rest of the kids loved it!

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After Rexburg rapids we went to aunt Gina and uncle Trent’s house for a barbecue. The food was so good and I enjoyed chatting and spending time with everyone. I feel so lucky I married into such a wonderful family.

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The next day Carrissa did my nails. I love them!

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Savannah and Kate playing together.

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Eric made a pencil.

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Fun at the zoo!

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We took this pic right before we left. I love all these kids! We had such a great time and are so happy we could spend time with some of our favorite people!

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Our house….

The house as of yesterday….They are doing insulation, putting in windows and doing the roof.



Pic from a hike.

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I forgot to post this picture when we went to Battle creek.

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Baseball pics.

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I tried this yummy Thai pizza. Sooo good!

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We watched Finding Dory one night. We all loved it!

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We had fun at Scera park one day! Here the kids are resting and snacking before jumping into the water again.

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We drove around in Lehi one Sunday afternoon. I love this view. You can see all the way to Spanish Fork.

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My mom!

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Savannah had two weeks of swimming lessons and it was from Mon-Fri. Very busy mornings for those two weeks.

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Playing barbies together!

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Eating free lunch at the school!

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This is what the house looked like last week. We walked around and looked at every room and it was so fun!

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Celebrating Oliver

Oliver’s birthday was busy with softball games and other activities but at night we could relax and celebrate him by eating cake and releasing some balloons. I was so glad that my mom and LeAnne could be there with us too. Here are some pictures.

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More house…

Our house as of today. So exciting!


Jannae’s wedding!

On Saturday we attended Eric’s cousin Jannae’s wedding. She was such a beautiful bride and we are so happy for them! It was so much fun to see a lot of family that we don’t see very often. The kids loved seeing the Hellewell kids again! They have missed them a lot. The reception was fun with lots of yummy food, awesome music, dancing and a beautiful garden with lots of different roses. Only sad thing was that it rained a little and it was cold! Nicci and Savannah both caught bouquets from the brides maids that Jannae threw. Here are some pics!

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Happy 5th birthday Oliver!

It’s been five years since our little Oliver came into this world early in the morning on June 14th, 2011. We had hoped and prayed during the pregnancy that he was going be born alive and I am forever grateful that we got that precious hour with him before he passed away. Even in the middle of all the heartbreak and sorrow of knowing that he was not going to make it very long, there was still a great joy of having him there and loving on him.


We can’t believe he should have started Kindergarten this fall. I often wonder what he would have looked like now as a 5 year old. Would he have had brown hair like Savannah or lighter hair like most of the other kids? What would his interests have been? Would he have been very stubborn like Jordan or more sensitive like Lionel? I have so many things I wonder about.


Five years! It seems like so long and yet not that long at all.  Even still do random things in everyday life remind us that we have one child, that is not with us. How we long to hold him again. Time has helped heal a lot of the pain, but I know in my heart that for the rest of my life I will always long for my little boy. My soul is forever connected with his. I will always miss him.


Today we celebrate yet one more year closer to the day when we will be reunited with our baby Oliver.  We miss you and love you!


“The tide recedes but leaves behind

bright seashells on the sand,

The sun goes down, but gentle warmth

still lingers on the land,

The music stops, and yet it echoes on

in sweet refrains…

For every joy that passes,

something beautiful remains.”

– Hardin Marshall


So grateful for my mother in law and sister in law who went out to Oliver’s grave and decorated for his birthday when we no longer can because we live in a different state.







Update on house…

This is what it looks like up by our lot right now. 🙂

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Eric’s birthday!

We celebrated Eric’s 34th birthday last Friday. He took the day off work and that was nice for him because he could do whatever he wanted and just relax all day. We had lunch together in Provo at a restaurant called Tuscanos Brazilian grill. In the afternoon we went to a company barbecue that Eric’s work had. They had lots of yummy food and a fun balloon fight for the kids. It was nice to meet some of his coworkers and get to know them a little bit better. After the barbecue we had family over for some pie.

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This guava drink was so yummy!

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Tiffany, Eric and their mom

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Our Family

Beatrice and Eric





Read posts about Oliver here
Read Oliver's story here