"If you know someone who has lost a child or anybody who's important to them, and you're afraid to mention them because you think you might make them sad by reminding them that they died, they didn't forget they died. You're not reminding them. What you're reminding them of is that you remembered that they lived, and that's a great, great gift" - Elizabeth Edwards

"The deep hurt is the mirror image of the deep joy that still awaits you." - Bruce C. Hafen


Pic from a hike.

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I forgot to post this picture when we went to Battle creek.

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Baseball pics.

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I tried this yummy Thai pizza. Sooo good!

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We watched Finding Dory one night. We all loved it!

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We had fun at Scera park one day! Here the kids are resting and snacking before jumping into the water again.

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We drove around in Lehi one Sunday afternoon. I love this view. You can see all the way to Spanish Fork.

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My mom!

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Savannah had two weeks of swimming lessons and it was from Mon-Fri. Very busy mornings for those two weeks.

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Playing barbies together!

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Eating free lunch at the school!

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This is what the house looked like last week. We walked around and looked at every room and it was so fun!

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Celebrating Oliver

Oliver’s birthday was busy with softball games and other activities but at night we could relax and celebrate him by eating cake and releasing some balloons. I was so glad that my mom and LeAnne could be there with us too. Here are some pictures.

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More house…

Our house as of today. So exciting!


Jannae’s wedding!

On Saturday we attended Eric’s cousin Jannae’s wedding. She was such a beautiful bride and we are so happy for them! It was so much fun to see a lot of family that we don’t see very often. The kids loved seeing the Hellewell kids again! They have missed them a lot. The reception was fun with lots of yummy food, awesome music, dancing and a beautiful garden with lots of different roses. Only sad thing was that it rained a little and it was cold! Nicci and Savannah both caught bouquets from the brides maids that Jannae threw. Here are some pics!

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Happy 5th birthday Oliver!

It’s been five years since our little Oliver came into this world early in the morning on June 14th, 2011. We had hoped and prayed during the pregnancy that he was going be born alive and I am forever grateful that we got that precious hour with him before he passed away. Even in the middle of all the heartbreak and sorrow of knowing that he was not going to make it very long, there was still a great joy of having him there and loving on him.


We can’t believe he should have started Kindergarten this fall. I often wonder what he would have looked like now as a 5 year old. Would he have had brown hair like Savannah or lighter hair like most of the other kids? What would his interests have been? Would he have been very stubborn like Jordan or more sensitive like Lionel? I have so many things I wonder about.


Five years! It seems like so long and yet not that long at all.  Even still do random things in everyday life remind us that we have one child, that is not with us. How we long to hold him again. Time has helped heal a lot of the pain, but I know in my heart that for the rest of my life I will always long for my little boy. My soul is forever connected with his. I will always miss him.


Today we celebrate yet one more year closer to the day when we will be reunited with our baby Oliver.  We miss you and love you!


“The tide recedes but leaves behind

bright seashells on the sand,

The sun goes down, but gentle warmth

still lingers on the land,

The music stops, and yet it echoes on

in sweet refrains…

For every joy that passes,

something beautiful remains.”

– Hardin Marshall


So grateful for my mother in law and sister in law who went out to Oliver’s grave and decorated for his birthday when we no longer can because we live in a different state.







Update on house…

This is what it looks like up by our lot right now. 🙂

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Eric’s birthday!

We celebrated Eric’s 34th birthday last Friday. He took the day off work and that was nice for him because he could do whatever he wanted and just relax all day. We had lunch together in Provo at a restaurant called Tuscanos Brazilian grill. In the afternoon we went to a company barbecue that Eric’s work had. They had lots of yummy food and a fun balloon fight for the kids. It was nice to meet some of his coworkers and get to know them a little bit better. After the barbecue we had family over for some pie.

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This guava drink was so yummy!

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Tiffany, Eric and their mom

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Orem summerfest

We had a fun night with family at the Orem Summerfest last week. 🙂

Eric did this face paint on Savannah!

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This ride was a lot of fun but I had a bruise on my arm the next day because I got so squished by the kids, haha.

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We decided to go on a hike one morning in Lehi. It got hot a lot faster than we thought and Tyler decided he was going to be very cranky, so the hike didn’t last very long, but it was still beautiful.

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One Sunday afternoon we went to Grotto falls. It was a short hike to the water fall and it was really nice there.

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My beautiful mom at Grotto falls.

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Lionel got to take one of Nicci’s riding lessons. He loved it!

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On June 6th we celebrated the Swedish national day! Eric got some face paint for the kids so that we can use it anytime we want!

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One very hot afternoon Tyler refused to nap so we went to the library and checked out the art carnival they were having. They had different art stations where the kids got to paint, cut and glue and they had a nice time.

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The kids had been begging and begging to sleep outside in the tent. We finally put it up for them. The boys lasted until 10 pm and then they came in to sleep in their room. Nicci and Savvy slept all night in the tent.

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Our Family

Beatrice and Eric





Read posts about Oliver here
Read Oliver's story here